Magic EXE Lite: An Anthology Collection
by DetectiveSky612
Summary: A collection of short works compiled as little bits that wouldn't go into Magic EXE but seemed too good to waste. Enjoy!
1. We Are Number One, but it's Magic EXE

**WARNING: SPOILERS TO MAGIC EXE AHEAD.**

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 **Don't say I didn't warn you.**

* * *

"Harry, Ron, Hermione… Cat face or not, you'll have to fit in with Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle and the rest of the Slytherins."

The three nodded, starting to pay attention. After all, I was the only Slytherin in our motley group. I smiled.

"First, a few questions."

I snapped my fingers, and Dominic reskinned my hair to look slicked back.

"Are you a real Slytherin?"

Hermione seemed to cock her head at the question, while Ron was the only one to respond.

"Well, technically… no."

"Have you ever caught a good guy, like a… Like a real Auror?"

Harry merely shook his head, as if he was afraid his voice would give him away (And to be fair, it probably would.)

"No."

"Have you ever tried Polyjuice Potion?"

More head-shaking.

"Bloody hell, no!"

"ALRIGHT!" I shouted, pointing a finger up into the air. "I can see that I'm going to have to teach you HOW TO BE… SLYTHERINS!"

I whipped a saxophone from my Inventory, just grabbing the card straight out of the window. I played a jazzy riff, which would probably be familiar to a certain well-dressed villain.

"Hey!" all three of the Gryffindors shouted as they started to dance to ambient music that matched the tune I played. I just looked at my sax in confusion. The show wasn't even released yet, how were they dancing? I merely glared at Dominic, who emitted a metallic whistling sound as the ambience continued. The Gryffindors were now playing various musical instruments they'd pulled from… _somewhere_.

"WE ARE NUMBER ONE! Hey!"

—

Using no small amount of MS, I raised a large adamantium cage with my staff in a side hall (which looked a lot like the ROM Rotunda). I heard a slight gasp from one of the stairwells as the Gryffindors-in-disguise marched by, _still_ playing We Are Number One. When I looked behind me, however, the was no-one to be seen.

"WE ARE NUMBER ONE!"

—

 _Back in the first-floor girls' bathroom…_

"Now, listen closely!"

The pseudo-Slytherins perked up.

"Here's a little lesson in Slithery!" I said.

—

I showed Ron the fine points of casting Petrificus Totalus.

—

"This is goin' down in history! If you wanna be a Slytherin Number One…"

—

I sent Dominic-mail to the three Gryffindors, who turned up right away and demonstrated their offensive hexes.

—

"You have to chase a Gryffindor pleb on the run!"

—

I tested the three Gryffindors' ability to give chase, with Ginny's help.

—

As Ginny ran through the trophy room, the pseudo-Slytherins and I hid behind one of the display cases. Casting Muffliato, I softly snuck out behind Ginny.

"Just copy my spells, and sneak around! Be careful not to make a sound!"

Ron then tripped over his own two feet and landed on his already-broken wand, breaking it again with an audible _crack_.

"Don't do that!"

—

The Gryffindor unofficial marching band bumped into me, breaking my concentration and dropping the adamantium cage around me.

—

The Gryffindors and I orchestrated a Petrificus-Totalus based ambush for Ginny in the Entrance Hall. Needless to say, Ron (Disguised as Crabbe) fell off his Cleansweep Seven as he cast the spell, which ended the ambush in disaster.

"WE ARE NUMBER ONE! Hey!"

—

Ginny approached me, being the usual non-unfriendly self I was without hinting at my involvement in Harry, Ron and Hermione's Slytherin training, to ask if she could borrow some of my Transfiguration notes as the pseudo-Slytherins marched by.

"WE ARE NUMBER ONE!"

I Confunded Ginny, holding my wand behind my back, and ducked behind a banister, casting Impossum Videre on myself as I Stunned Ginny from where I squatted while the Gryffindors looked on.

—

I snuck out from the Charms corridor behind a Muffliato'd Neville Longbottom, the Gryffindors-in-disguise at my heels.

"Now remember the spell that I taught you! When I say "NET", be ready to cast!"

Neville dropped Trevor as I said "NET", throwing off the trio's aim… directly at me.

"Cast it at him, not me!" I bit out when the debuff cleared. "Ugh, let's try something else…"

—

I cast a freezing spell over the Entrance Hall as I waited for Ginny to pass through.

"Now watch and learn, here's the deal:

She'll slip and slide on this magical ice!"

The Gryffindor Unofficial Marching Band then proceeded to walk all over the ice, falling over.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

—

As we made a show of marching Ginny to the first floor, someone in the crowd cast "Animum Recepi", foiling our "plans".

—

"SLYTHERIN NUMBER OOOOOONEEEEE!"

—

Giving up on any other means of doing anything, Hermione probably took another swig of the Polyjuice Potion.

The one that was laced with a cat hair.

The resulting disfiguration prompted her to just commence crying and run to the Hospital Wing.

"WE ARE NUMBER ONE!"

Ron, Harry and I continued our quest to annoy the Gryffindor House in general, which, due to Hermione's lack of being there to plan for us, failed miserably.

"WE ARE NUMBER ONE!"

—

I smiled. These Gryffindors would make wonderful Slytherins.

"WE ARE NUMBER ONE! Hey! Hey!"

—

"What is it, Goyle?"

"That Dresden fellow seems to think he's better than you!"

"Just… Teach him a little lesson when he returns."

"This'll go down in history for sure as the day Draco Malfoy determined his undisputed mastery over the Slytherin second years!"

"Right, Crabbe! Showing some brains for once! Because who are we?"

Both of Draco's minions sighed. "Number one…"

* * *

Oio boios! DetectiveSky612 here!

Thank you for reading this cringey, spoilery Unused Snippet of Magic EXE!

Just to clear up the spoilers for you, it was that Alabaster ended up in Slytherin.

Please leave a like and subscribe, and see you next time!


	2. Alabaster Installs A Randomizer

Standing in the centre of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom with a couple of desks moved out of the way, I managed some crazy anatomical feats drag-and-dropping files through various windows projected by Dominic as I installed some game mods while keeping the Terraverse network too occupied to notice. Graymalkin swatted at a couple Install Wizards to help me with this, and eventually it all came together and it felt _oh so satisfying_. I closed the windows, called Graymalkin back to my shoulder, and used a Reboot Run File I'd found in Dominic's code and bookmarked for later use.

One bout of unconsciousness followed by dizziness and nausea later, I Skyped my three favourite Gryffindors, urging them to come to the DADA classroom.

"Why can't you just come over here?" Ron said.

"I'm sure that whatever reason he has for staying in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, it's a good one, Ron," Hermione said. "But why? You're one of the top performers in the class."

"Suffice it to say I'd have to navigate a labyrinth to get over there," I said.

"But there's no maze on the castle grounds," Hermione said.

"Harry might want to see this as well. It's definitely... _interesting_."

* * *

"That's brilliant, Alabaster," Harry said. "But how will it let us sneak into the Slytherin common room?"

"Well, Harry," I said, "This has messed with spacetime. I can't say how, but it's confusing and hilarious."

"Well," Hermione said, "Let's see it then."

"Dominic?"

"Everything appears to be in order."

"Will it work for the Gryffindors?"

"Anything in physical contact."

"A'right," I said, asking the Gryffindors if anyone wanted to go first. Hermione stepped up, admitting her curiosity.

Smiling, yet silent, I took her by the wrist and walked up towards the door to the hallway.

"Why are you going back out?" Hermione asked.

"Just wait and see," I said.

A few seconds later, we'd passed through the doorway.

We'd also gone into Diagon Alley, walking outwards from Flourish & Blotts' front door.

"What?" Hermione said, wrenching free from my grip. "What? How did we…"

My crap-eating grin grew wider. "It's called a randomizer. It screws with spacetime to, say, scramble a shopping mall into a four or five-dimensional maze."

Hermione clearly did not get any of this, so I brought her back into Flourish & Blotts, reappearing at Hogwarts. The classroom was empty now.

"In short, I've launched myself into a maze filled with familiar places. I'll have to take a while to map enough of it to travel reliably, but until then I'll be lost and found, know my surroundings intimately, yet haven't the faintest idea precisely where I am."

Hermione nodded as Harry and Ron rushed back into the room.

"There you are, Hermione!" Harry said.

"You'd just up and disappeared!" Ron continued.

"Harry, I can now warp between any place in the Wizarding World," I said, "just by wandering a great maze."

Harry and Ron nodded, clearly more concerned about Hermione right now, but turned their attention to me soon enough.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked.

"It's complicated," I said, "but suffice it to say I've screwed with the Universe."

The three gave me various forms of an affirmative response.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a maze to explore," I said, walking up to Gilderoy Lockhart's office. "Dominic, start mapping the maze and save this randomizer seed."

* * *

I walked into the streets of Hogsmeade, leaving from Honeydukes. Looking around and checking the small map readout in a light snow, I jogged over to the Three Broomsticks, which led me to-

* * *

The Hogwarts grounds, coming in from the Quidditch pitch. I ran up to the doors, opened them, and stepped into-

* * *

The Black Lake, walking into the Merpeoples' city. Silently thanking the game up to this point for giving me a Zora scale, I swam up to the town hall, which led me to-

* * *

Diagon Alley once again, this time walking out from Ollivander's. I headed over to Gringott's and entered, dumping me in-

* * *

The main Hogwarts area, coming in from the front doors. Thank God the school halls could work as a nexus, since I'd asked Dominic and it was all one giant loading zone. I made my way to the dungeons, found the Slytherin common room, and entered to behold-

* * *

Gringotts, or at the very least its underground tunnel network. I dodged a cart rattling past, whereupon I mounted my Firebolt II, and got Dominic to help me navigate to Harry's vault. Once there, I stepped in, beholding-

* * *

The Chamber of Secrets. I blinked in surprise a couple times, before walking up to the Basilisk's entrance to the plumbing and diving in, leading to-

* * *

The Burrow's main gate.

"I can deactivate this whenever I want, right, Dom?"

"The specific randomizer you installed does come with an on/off switch. Do you want to turn the randomizer off?"

"Nah, this is too fun."

And so I continued to the Burrow, opening the door to who-knows-where.


	3. Magic EXE: 301

Before we get to this story, I'd like to give you some background.

Each year, around this time, Classics clubs around the province of Ontario gather at Brock University and have a Classics-off with quizzes and sports.

Of course, I'm going this year, so, why not write about Alabaster and some Ancient Greeks?

Enjoy!

* * *

I checked around the coastline the Randomizer had warped me to out of nowhere. On one side, cliffs rose above me, while on the other, the sea stretched out to the horizon. I was standing on a dirt road between the two, at midday, when the blazing sun made this whole thing feel like a smelter. I could see a large swarm of something far off down the road, and on my other side a small cohort of soldiers.

Which were also hoplites.

Which also had the Spartan emblem on their shields.

... Dear _God_ , Dominic, what the hell had you got me into now?!

I greeted the group as they approached, the leader of whom spat at the ground.

"So the Persians decide to send a single man to invade Sparta?" the leader, whom I assumed to be Leonidas, taunted. "See how weak they think we are, lads! Let's show 'em what it _really_ means to be a Spartan!"

I sighed and facepalmed as a single Spartan mook stepped forward to kill me. Drawing my Flintlock, I (regretfully) shot the man right where it'd hurt most, wincing as he was grounded with a whimper.

The Spartans looked at me, the solo guy, Leonidas, me, each other, me, and then Leonidas. All at once, they shouted a fierce battle cry and charged, spears pointed right at me.

Holstering my Flintlock and drawing the Troll's Club and my Iron Shield, I batted away spears and shields, before whirling a Tornado Spin and knocking around a sixteenth of the troops out.

"I honestly don't want to fight, am not from here, am not with the Persians, and know that you are completely outnumbered. Now will you just STOP FIGHTING AND LISTEN TO ME?!" I shouted.

Well, it got their attention.

"Thank you. Now, as you have already seen what I can do, I do believe you might welcome the small amount of aid I can provide."

"We're _Spartans_ ," Leonidas said. "Not pansies."

"In which case, let me tell you something: It would be an honour to fight alongside you."

"While I'm flattered, please explain."

"I'm from the far, far future, a larger-scale one where Sparta has long been just another part of Greece. However, the ancient Greeks are still famous for what they did two thousand years ago, and we even nod to that every now and then. This battle, even, will be recorded as one of the best action plays of its time. So why not make the legendary 300 into 301?"

Leonidas thought on this, before responding to my inquiry. "You lack the discipline of any true Spartan, but I can tell there's a fire in you, iron-forged in who the hell knows where. How well can you fight?"

"I've taken down a monster the size of a small temple. Thrice."

Leonidas nodded and walked past me, surveying the approaching Persian force.

"Get your gear ready, stranger. They have enough arrows to blot out the sun."

"Actually," I said, "I think I've got everything here." Just to be sure, I gave myself a quick pat down. Light scalemail, check. Mêlée and ranged weapon sets? Check. Dominic? Ready to dive into Hammerspace at a moment's notice. Graymalkin? Already in Hammerspace. Satisfied with my last-minute check, I drew my Longsword and Iron Shield.

The Persian army was truly massive in scale to the 300 Spartans. Standing on one of Thermopylae's cliffs, I checked over the phalanx made by Leonidas at the bottleneck, before giving him a thumbs-up as the first wave arrived. I jumped down off the cliff, and everything after that devolved into chaos. I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but one of the Persian mook groups managed to corner me and tag-team me into dropping off the cliff. Fortunately, I could actually swim, and made my way back up, soaked and _very_ ticked, a few minutes later. After that, it was no-holds-barred against the Persians' Immortals, bombers, archers, mooks... anything that attacked, really. Before I could get the drop on another group of bombers, a metal thing _clunk_ ed on my head, there was a blinding flash, and I was standing in the Forbidden Forest once more, along with a note saying "You don't have the World Key yet. So, no. You cannot do this just yet. - I.R."

Cursing I.R., I trudged back to the castle in the slowly thickening rain, grumbling the whole way back through the maze, until I was ambushed by Mrs Norris in the Entrance Hall.

The resulting midnight interview with Filch, Snape and Dumbledore was very interesting.

* * *

Oio boios! DetectiveSky612 here!

This was meant to be something fairly small I could easily do on my own time, themed for Classics Conference. Hope you liked it!


	4. Quidditch League S5R1: Survival

Lily paced back and forth in the living-room of her and James' home in Godric's Hollow as she awaited her husband. He was out doing some last-minute preparations should Voldemort arrive at their doorstep instead of the Longbottoms'. The fire in the hearth kept the place warm on this abnormally cold summer night, and Lily worried to herself, going over every possible outcome of these events. Harry, her young son, cried from his room upstairs, and Lily went to attempt to calm him. As she reached Harry's crib, however, she heard the sounds of a door opening and slamming shut, followed by rapid footsteps and the sounds of a door being blasted off of its hinges. She saw James poke his head into the room, stage-whisper "He's here", and then dash back out, racing down the stairs to confront the Dark Wizard Voldemort in battle. Lily removed Harry from his crib and hugged him close, as close as she could, while she heard the sounds of spells rebounding and missing. They all went silent, though, when those thrice-damned, cursed words were uttered.

"Avada Kedavra!"

Lily drew her wand, bringing a few charms, curses and hexes to the forefront of her mind, before looking back to Harry as he resumed crying, deciding to discard them all and just save Harry. She picked up Harry and held him in her arms, trying to calm him (rather unsuccessfully) and herself (also rather unsuccessfully) as Voldemort entered the room.

"Not Harry, _please_ ," she said, starting to fully process what was going on. "Take my life, but _please, spare Harry_."

Voldemort merely smiled, and repeated the two words that had brought James Potter to his doom.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

* * *

The woman, Lily, he supposed, died like any other, though with a bit more selfless pleading than one would expect. Voldemort performed a mental shrug and advanced on the baby in Lily's arms, looking down on the one that was supposed to kill him, and the one that would truly die tonight. Voldemort smiled at this prospect of unlimited power, even from Death himself. He raised his wand one last time, and one last time uttered the two cursed words.

"Avada Kedavra!"

However, instead of a clean death, green lightning crackled from the spot where the spell hit. It arced all over Harry's body, striking his forehead and arcing over to Voldemort, hitting the Dark Lord with the full force of the curse.

* * *

Voldemort's lifeless body was blasted across the room, and the green lightning from Harry's tiny body settled, leaving a lightning-bolt-shaped scar in its place.

Snape entered the house, looking first at James' body in the hallway to the back, and then proceeded upstairs, finding Lily holding the crying baby Harry in her lifeless arms. The Potions Master rescued Harry from his mother, putting him back in his crib, and then turned back to Lily. He felt tears well up in his eyes, and proceeded to cry along with Harry at the loss of a loved one. Snape turned to the Dark Lord's body, and went over and kicked it, enjoying the sight of it flopping around. Seeing as that didn't bring Lily back, he kicked it again. He went back to Lily now, weeping, and hugged her, wishing events could have played out differently. He heard the door open and shut again, and someone proceed up the stairs, also proceeding to confuse Snape. When the unknown newcomer, a teenager in Muggle dress with antique Muggle weaponry at his belt, entered the bedroom, Snape wondered who this was, and questioned the newcomer similarly.

"Oh, you don't know me yet, but you will," the newcomer said. "Just think of me as a time-travelling Good Samaritan."

The teenager removed from his satchel a vial of tiny feathers, looking down at Lily. He opened the bottle, removed some of the feathers, and stuck them in Lily's nose. From the nose, a golden pulse went across Lily's body, and the once-dead woman bolted upright and sneezed, sending a wave of the down out of her nose.

As Lily tried to find her bearings, Snape looked up at the teen, incredulous, but the teen merely checked his watch. Snape stood up as Lily calmed Harry through the bars of the crib, hugging the teenager, a gesture which the teen apparently did not expect, judging from the scramble to right his balance. The teen returned the gesture.

"Thank you," Snape said, weeping not of grief but of joy now.

"Think nothing of it," The teen said. "No, seriously, think nothing of it," the teen said upon breaking the hug. "From now on, Lily is dead, and will have to remain that way in order for history to take its course. You cannot announce to the world that she survived, only take solace in it yourself."

"Severus, is this true?" Lily said, having calmed Harry. "This young man saved my life?"

"Yes," Snape said. "Also, Lily... I love you."

The teen smiled as Snape kissed Lily full-on, followed by Lily squirming for a second before giving in. When they broke the kiss, Lily was shocked beyond belief. "Severus..." She said. "And here I thought you were going to stay in "The Friendzone", as those kids call it."

The teenager conferred with a tiny bronze orb hovering over his shoulder, and then caught Snape and Lily's attention as the orb dove back into his satchel. "Sorry to interrupt, but the Dementors that have been keeping watch outside for the evening have noticed something's up from the swell of pure happiness here. In short, there's a swarm of depression monsters on their way. Wands at the ready, everyone!" the teen said, drawing his own wand as Snape and Lily followed suit. They opened the windows, and shouted the Patronus Charm as they started to frost over.

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

* * *

Oio boios! Sky here!

This admittedly OK romance story is my entry for the Quidditch League, Season 5, Round One, for the prompt of whatever my Captain's NOTP was (In this case, something involving Snape. Anything with Snape, really). The word count is 998 words, for the judges reading this. I've my fingers crossed!


	5. QL S5R2: That Night On The Platform

Snow fell lightly from the dark, cloudy night as Alabaster emerged from his custom Time-Turner's past state at Hogsmeade Station. Silently cursing the Randomizer, he made to go to the town and then to Hogwarts, boots crunching in the fresh powder snow, Dominic, his Navi-esque Server Link, whirring just behind his right shoulder. The wizard-in-training stopped when he heard a voice from behind him, further down the platform.

"I wouldn't go there if I were you. There's Dementors down that way."

"Sentries I imagine?"

"No doubt watching for that scoundrel, Sirius Black."

Alabaster turned around, and saw a man with greasy black hair and a beard, dressed in tattered prison garb: Sirius Black. Reacting on instinct, Alabaster drew his wand and pointed it at Sirius.

"What, you want to try to kill me too?"

"No, this is pretty much my default reaction to everyone who approaches me while I'm alone on a train platform in the middle of the night."

"Fair enough." Without saying another word, Sirius leapt at Alabaster, already transforming into a great black dog, leaving Alabaster to jump out of the way while firing a few spells off into the night. The time traveller leapt onto the tracks as the spells radiated out into the darkness, none of them hitting their intended target. Alabaster took a frantic look around as he heard the dog Sirius' growling reverberate off of the platform side and the forest edge beyond, while the little light there was revealed nothing of his location. Backing towards the only light on the platform, Alabaster did a Teneo-aided backflip to get himself back into the light, where he saw Sirius, about to leap again had he remained where he was, for a split second.

The only problem was, Alabaster had never done a backflip before.

Alabaster botched the landing, stumbling and falling face-down into the snow, dropping his wand in the process. He picked himself back up and dusted himself off - or would that be "snowed himself off"? - and looked up, to see Sirius Black, now human again, pointing Alabaster's own wand straight at his face a few metres away on the platform. Alabaster blinked for a second, raising his hands in surrender.

"Nice play, Sirius."

"Why, thank you. That was an impressive start of a stunt you pulled there - What was that charm you used? "Teneo"? I've never heard it before."

"It's a Grappling Charm. Made it myself."

"Ooh, a spellsmith? I almost feel bad for having to maim you now. Almost."

"Well, there's one thing I know and you don't."

"The directions around the castle and its secret passages? Please, I _invented_ the Marauder's Map."

"No, no. It's just that I actually know how to use a sword and you don't," Alabaster said, before drawing his Longsword from its sheath on his back and using its mirrored surface to deflect the Super Stunning Spell that Sirius unleashed at Alabaster. The glowing red projectile sped off into the night, heading for the castle. Alabaster swung a few times at Sirius, who simply dodged out of range, before taking a deep breath, steeling himself for his next move.

"Sword Beam!" Alabaster shouted, sending a blinding white air blade at Sirius, who responded likewise with "Protego!" The white arc hit the magical shield and bounced off, searing into the night, illuminating and just barely missing the face of a Dementor. The two wizards kept duelling, unaware of the fate that they were tempting, before Alabaster finally noticed what was going on as he slipped on the now-frozen-over snow and fell down, missing his sword by mere inches. Sirius capitalized on this with an Expelliarmus, sending Alabaster's sword flying over the platform fence and into the darkness.

"Looks like I've won," Sirius said, pointing Alabaster's wand at the grounded wizard.

"Hold on, hold on," Alabaster said, stopping Sirius before the fugitive could knock him out. "This ice wasn't here ten seconds ago. Plus the weather isn't warm enough for the snow to melt and refreeze in the middle of the night."

"Dementors?"

"Dementors."

Sirius and Alabaster both reacted immediately. Sirius threw Alabaster his wand ("I may be a fugitive, but I'm not heartless,") and turned back into a dog, hightailing it out of the station, while Alabaster caught his wand and began searching his fragmented memories for a happy one to use for the Patronus Charm. He discarded his first Quidditch win, his realization of where he was when he had first met Hagrid, and his triumphs over Quirrell and the Basilisk. Eventually, he settled for his acceptance letter at Hogwarts, and held it firmly in his mind's eye when he shouted "EXPECTO PATRONUM!" However, what came out was merely a wisp, directed by Alabaster's wand movements and doing nothing more. Alabaster took a look at it and decided to make the most of it, swinging it around him like a flail, slowly but surely making his way up the road to Hogsmeade, retrieving his sword on the way. He reached the village an eternity later, still flailing the Patronus wisp about, keeping the Dementors at bay mere metres away. He smiled as the citizens of Hogsmeade opened their windows, and several full Patronus Charms flew out of the attics and the storefronts to help him. The Dementors routed, and Alabaster stowed his wand and slipped into Honeydukes, entering the secret passageway and running to safety in Hogwarts.

* * *

Oio boios! DetectiveSky612 here!

This marks the second round of the Quidditch League! This story was prompted with the location of Hogsmeade Station, and the story word count here is 929 words! It took a bit longer to get out, but it's still some quality work!


	6. Quidditch League S5R3: A Family Reunion

_Three things cannot be hidden for long,_ Albus' book said, _The sun, the moon, and the truth._

Albus Severus Potter decided this would be a good place to stop when he heard Lily start to panic as James started to destroy her in chess.

"Come on, James, at least try to go a bit easier on me," Lily said as Albus entered the room.

"I thought you said you wanted me to actually oppose you?"

"Well, yes, but - rrgh - I'll get Uncle Alabaster to help me then!"

"No fair! We both know Uncle Abalaster's a nightmare to play against! He once beat Uncle Ron, for Pete's sake!"

"James," Albus said, "Can't you just go easier on her without complaining?"

James sighed, a sign that he really didn't want to do what Albus said, because he was the older brother. "Fine... You win, Lily..."

It was at this point that the kids' father, Harry Potter, entered the room. "Everyone okay? I heard shouting."

James was quickest to respond. "Yeah, Dad, everything's fine."

"Now remember, Uncle Ron and Auntie Hermione are coming over tonight. James, please just try to keep from irritating your sister."

As Harry left the room with James gawking in disbelief, Albus poked James' ego with a short, simple "Dad always knows, James. Always."

James glared at Albus and refused to speak to him, a demeanour that lifted when Rose and Hugo arrived, and the Potters retrieved their deck of cards, dealing five hands.

* * *

Dinner was a rather boring affair, as it was all filled with adult-speak about Harry's new job as the boss Auror. James mainly used the time to brag about various times he'd outwitted Scorpius, when Albus knew, much to his annoyance, that there had been no actual outwitting done, and Scorpius had just left the area or done something good for James by chance.

All conversation stopped when there was a knock at the door.

"Is that Uncle Alabaster?" Albus asked as Harry went to answer the door.

Nobody answered Albus' question, but James _did_ say "Finally" a few seconds after, so Albus counted it as a win.

The kids all brightened up when Harry reentered the room, this time with Alabaster.

"Uncle Alabaster!" Albus said, delighted to see his honorary uncle.

"Hey, hey, kids!" Alabaster said, sitting down with Harry to finish what was left of dinner.

* * *

The kids had taken over the lounge as Harry and Ginny cleared the table, begging for a story from Alabaster.

"Alright, alright," Alabaster conceded. "I'll tell you - all of you (He raised his voice so Harry and Ginny could hear) - the strange sequence of events that led to my admittance to Hogwarts."

The kids listened closely, intent on hearing every detail.

"It all started when my parents checked me into a Toronto clinic for video-game addiction - Ironic because of Dominic and how I started out in Wizarding Britain, I know, but bear with me - and I went to a few sessions. I divulged quite a bit of info on my likes and dislikes to the therapist, who wrote it all down on a notepad. I thought she was actually trying to do something, but even when it was clear I wasn't an actual addict, she said the opposite to my parents, getting me to come back every Saturday, until, about three or four months in, she pulled a device from the ceiling that hadn't been there before, something like a pair of binocular eye-tester things attached to an upside-down scissorlift, which she affixed over my eyes as I was bound to the chair by a bunch of clamps. My eyes shot through with pain for about half a second, and when I woke up, I was in that round stone room I told you about last time."

The kids were amazed at the story. Granted, it wasn't like any of Alabaster's other stories, where he was backflipping over baddies or creating unregistered illegal Time-Turners, but it was the truth.

"Why didn't you tell any of us the whole story before, Alabaster?" Hermione asked, a puzzled look on her face.

"I never had time to unveil the whole truth - Either I was busy or you were. Speaking of which..." There was another knock at the door, and Alabaster stood up to meet Harry as the two neared the door. "Why don't you answer that, Harry?"

"That sounds suspicious, Alabaster. Why should I?"

"Remember that affair with the homemade Time-Turner?"

"Let me guess: Butterfly effect?"

"No, just the product of my efforts."

Harry opened the door to see a woman in around her sixties or seventies. She wore a simple shirt and jeans, and carried a wand, but Harry couldn't tell exactly _what_ it was about her that he found familiar. He searched his memories, trying to find a reason, until he stumbled across Snape's dying words while making eye contact with the newcomer.

 _You have your mother's eyes_.

Harry then recognized those eyes as similar to his own, and recognized the woman as his own mother. A wave of emotion overtook him, leading to a silent, tear-soaked hug with his long-lost mother. Upon welcoming her inside, Harry dragged Alabaster off to one side and asked him how he had saved his mother.

"One dose of reviving phoenix down, applied a few minutes after death."

"Why?"

"Lily's death is one of the greatest turning points in your entire story, and although I couldn't do anything about Privet Drive, I could in fact falsify Lily's death by bringing her back to life in secret, leaving any events and objects that were brought about by her death intact."

"So you revived my own mother to make up for my tragic past, and _didn't think to tell me about it?_ "

"... Yes. In my defence, it made dealing with the butterfly effect a lot easier."

"Times like these make it very trying to have you as my friend, Alabaster."

"I can imagine that."

* * *

After that night, Alabaster noticed that it was a more strained smile that graced Ginny's face whenever they met, and Harry always kept things strictly-business unless there was no business to conduct, in which case he would cut the conversation whenever he could. Harry's kids still admired him and loved him, but Alabaster noticed there was no contact outside of family occasions and holidays. Alabaster dawdled on what he did wrong, and vowed to not make that kind of mistake again.

* * *

Oio boios! DetectiveSky here!

This story was written for Round 3 of this year's Quidditch League Fanfic Competition, coming in at a total of 1104 words in the story! This week's prompt was Truth or Dare: Write about a dare being carried out after decades, or the truth being unveiled after the same amount of time.


	7. Alabaster Vs His Sanity

I blinked as the Randomizer dropped me into a forest; not as dark and unforgiving as the Hogwarts one, but snowier, and I looked around. It was as winter should properly be: Cold and snowy. I checked all of my equipment and gear, switching my work robes out for my more-insulated starter hoodie, and started into the forest, shivering a bit. I walked like this for about an hour, stopping in my tracks when I stepped on a twig. Nope, it wasn't the twig that was the scary thing, though. It was the pack of wolves I heard howling around two seconds after I stepped on the twig. I drew my Longsword and Revolver, and continued wandering. The wolves didn't reach me, though, as I heard another, more animalistic roar. I shuddered, grabbed the hilt of my Longsword, and continued onward, into the thickening snow.

* * *

 **{Day 4}**

I've decided to start this journal as a vent. Dom wound down a few days ago, and I don't have a key to wind him up again... I think I left it in the Forge. So for the remainder of the time I've got here until I've found a way out of these damned wintry woods, I'll have to find food on my own. I'd settle for a rabbit, but it seems like those wolves have eaten enough to make them smart. I'll have to work on my stealth and accuracy to survive...

* * *

 **{Day 9}**

I've been practicing with my pistol. I'm definitely a good shot now, seeing as I can snipe the cone off a tree at twenty metres. It gets colder at night now, so I've had to keep a fire going with the few Fire-element rounds I have. Food is definitely scarce, so I've had to scavenge off of chance-found dead animals to survive. I've been hearing more of the wolves every now and then, and even caught a glimpse of one before that same animalistic roar from Day 1 scared them off. I've had to keep my wits about me for a while now.

* * *

 **{Day 23}**

I'm becoming more used to the idea of survival in winter with no fire, and using what little heat I can to warm my own body. Wandering is definitely becoming harder to do, as I'm becoming more and more aware of the wolves, as if they're watching me. I still haven't found a path, but I remain somewhat hopeful, keeping an eye out for any opportunity.

* * *

 **\- Day 45 -**

I walked through the forest, a light snow coming down, and looked for a path. My boots crunched in the snow already on the dry, frozen ground, and I kept my hood up against the occasional fierce wind that ripped through the woods. I groggily trudged onwards, but I was jerked back awake by a growl that I heard when I hit the ground. Looking up, I saw a white wolf, staring straight at me with one good eye, and I rolled back onto my feet. I drew my Longsword, slashing it down in a devastating overhead strike as the wolf leaped. Unfortunately for me, it lodged in the one-eyed wolf's skull and refused to move. I drew my Revolver, cocking it and shooting at the other wolves that tried to take pieces off of me. Wolves assailed me left and right, and some landed a few hits to to face and legs. Battered and bloodied, I finally dislodged my sword from the one-eyed wolf's head and made to escape, laying down my own cover fire as the wolves gave chase. When I was absolutely sure I was safe, I stopped running, taking deep, heaving breaths. I looked up when I had recovered enough to do so, and saw a giant... _beast_ looming above me. I fell back, stunned, and tried to dig up the infobit that I recognized the form from, but took too long, as it had fled before I could recognize it, loosing a great roar once it was off in the distance.

I went to sleep that night wondering what the hell I owed my escape to.

* * *

 **{Day 62}**

Something's going on in my head... I can feel myself slipping. These damned woods are more than they seem...

* * *

 **{Day 74}**

Losing thought... Must focus... Escape...

* * *

 **{Day 105}**

 _The woods stretch_

 _On and on_

 _Leaving no escape_

 _For my sanity_

 _Or even me..._

 _Forest groves_

 _Snow and snow_

 _Coating me in white_

 _To cover my trail..._

 _I must prevail!_

 _Left and right,_

 _Endless white,_

 _Day and night..._

 _Boundless trees,_

 _Wrapped in leaves,_

 _Follow me..._

 _Stay away,_

 _'Til the day_

 _Whisks me astray,_

 _Sun's out-_

 _Get out-_

 _Take roads-_

 _Duck, snow-_

 _Light, go-_

 _Wait, no-_

 _Go slow-_

 _Where am I now?_

 _Ha ha ha ha!_

* * *

I was jerked back into alignment as I saw torches reflect through the snow, followed by the crunching of snow and the whinny of a horse. I was confused until I heard what they were saying - or rather, singing.

" _Light your torch! Mount your horse!_

Screw your courage to the sticking-place!

 _We're counting on Gaston to lead the way!_

 _Through a mist! Through a wood_

 _Where within a haunted castle_

 _Something's lurking that you don't see every day!_

 _It's a beast! One as tall as a mountain_

 _We won't rest 'til he's good and deceased_

 _Sally forth! Tally ho!_

 _Grab your sword! Grab your bow!_

 _Praise the Lord and here we go!_

 _KILL THE BEAST!_ "

With a gasp, I realized what was going on, and scrambled in the direction the angry mob was going, deciding to sing along as I ran. What could I say? It was a good tune!

" **Through the mist, through the wood**

 **Towards a besieged castle**

 **Where an mob attacks it** **beneath falling snow!**

 **The doomed beast, in the fort**

 **he's** **the robust one who saved me**

 **from the wolf attack those many nights ago!**

 **He's a wild-looking one, there's no question**

 **But I'm put into debt by my life**

 **To the door, down the trail,**

 **there's a plot to derail**

 **so I'll fight them tooth and nail!** "

I reached the edge of the forest and blitzed into the castle grounds, the mob only seconds behind me. As they started into the grounds, they started past the first key change, never even slowing down. I reached the front doors of the castle as they started up the steps, drawing my gun and my wand. They stopped as they saw me standing in front of the door. Gaston, wearing a red soldier's uniform and astride a horse, rode up to me.

"Move, kid."

I huffed, glaring sharply upwards at the man's face. Otherwise, I did nothing.

Gaston drew his pistol and pointed it at me. "Move."

I said nothing, but looked around and bent slightly downwards, lowering my gun and raising my sword. Surprising everyone - even me - was the fact fact that I _growled_. I hadn't done it before, and must have picked it up from my time in the woods.

Gaston simply shrugged, and shot at me. The bullet, being a standard ball, curved right and hit the wall. The same happened for the next shot. Gaston's third shot, though, was dead on the money.

When the round left the barrel, I swung my sword with as much force as I could muster, slicing the bullet in half.

"En garde," I said, pointedly stressing the words.

He drew his rapier, while I stuck with my Longsword. Gaston dismounted, facing me, and we clashed. Gaston pressed the offensive, not relenting, our swords flashing as we duelled. Dominic hovered around Gaston's head as I took a trick from Ocarina of Time's book and kept a combat-lock on Gaston. I blocked every attack, every stab, every slash, and continually backed to the right. Dodging the umpteenth sword swing, I had gotten ahold of the patterns Gaston used, so I kept moving when our blades clashed, and for the first time in the entire duel, I attacked, catching Gaston off-guard. Gaston parried the next few blows, though he'd certainly remember the slash on his cheek. We clashed blades a few more times, though when I tried to press an advantage, Gaston kicked me, sending me through the doors of the castle.

As I picked myself up from the foot of the Astronomy Tower, it started to snow, as if the Universe was taunting me about what I'd just been bodily and unceremoniously thrown out of.

"Dammit."

* * *

Oio boios! It's Sky once again!

This short was a celebratory one, as I have finally seen the new Beauty and the Beast! Hopefully, this'll sate your hunger for new material until Magic EXE Chapter 6 comes out!


	8. QLS5R4: The Other McGonagall

"Come on, Robert, Great Grampa Will is coming over for dinner!"

"But MOM..."

"No buts! We've got to get you cleaned up somehow. Look at all the dirt on your clothes!"

Robert McGonagall sighed, rolling his eyes. He'd come back home to dinner after exploring a strange ruin he'd found in the town's nearby forest. As his mother fussed over the state of his hair and his clothes while scrubbing him down in the washbasin, Robert turned over the mystery of the ruin. It had been circular, with many single-piece stone pillars. A passing traveller had once described Stonehenge to Father; and the ruin Robert had found had seemed like a Stonehenge to him. Robert emerged from the washbasin as his mother placed his clothes in it, and went and put on his other set of clothes (Well, outside of his Sunday clothes, that was). He set the small cottage's table for four, then aided his father in cooking the lamb roast they were going to have with Great Grampa Will. All the while, his curiosity pricked at the back of his mind, wondering what the small Stonehenge was. The eviscerating feeling of simply _not knowing_ was driving Robert mad, up until Great Grampa Will burst into the house in high spirits, singing a few select snatches of verse Robert had never heard before, driving the thought of another Stonehenge out of Robert's mind.

"The temple stood within the mist,

a Druid's hall enshrouded,

'till Portree sang of an archaeologist,

enshrouded it remained."

While his family commented on how _great_ they were, Robert asked Will where he'd found the verses.

" _Found_ them?" Great Grampa Will replied incredulously. "Laddie, I _wrote_ them!"

Robert nodded, and soon was humming along to the tune Great Grampa Will had sung the verse with. The family sat down, said grace, and ate, with Grampa Will composing a short rhyming couplet saying how much he liked the lamb.

"There once was a roast leg of lamb,

that went and fed a poetry man.

Grease ran down his chin,

as he enjoyed the shin,

and made a verse to praise the chef!"

This was also met with a handful of halfhearted compliments. A few seconds of awkward silence passed, and then Robert decided to share the secret of the ruin.

"So I was in the forest today, playing at Merlin and Dragons, when I found an old stone circle ruin, like that traveller said about Stonehenge."

"Very interesting, lad," Grampa Will said. "I hope you don't mind showing me once this rather delicious meal is finished."

"Grandad..." Mrs McGonagall started.

"Yes, Esmerelda, I know I'm getting old... Still, I want to see Robert's Stonehenge! No doubt he's already claimed it in the name of the Queen!"

Grampa Will laughed boisterously at that comment, despite him being the only one doing so. He tousled Robert's hair, adding on a comment of how Robert would one day make a great explorer, a finder of the unknown.

After the table was cleared and the washing-up done, Robert and Grampa Will left for the forest, equipped with naught but a lantern. Grampa Will hummed the tune he had been singing when he had arrived at the McGonagalls', and Robert retraced his steps around the forest, with dusk approaching quickly.

"Yes, it was this way... Past this tree that looks like a face... turn left at the rock that looks like an egg... and now we keep going until we see the ruin."

They walked for a few minutes longer, adding onto Grampa Will's original verse, going deeper into the forest.

Even from far away, Grampa Will could tell that this ruin was no Stonehenge. It looked the part, except it had a few rings of connected arches, forming an open vault like a ceiling frame. When the two reached the ruin, they were surprised to see a man standing there. He wore a distinctive blue longcoat, but otherwise was very generic. The longcoat man saw the boy and his great-grandfather approach the ruin, but blocked their path into the stone circle and towards its obelisk, revealing a black-and-yellow scarf and freckled face.

"I'm sorry, but you can't go in there. It's very dangerous," Longcoat Man said, an English twang emphasizing the T in "can't".

"My great grandson has taken me here to show me a ruin he found," Grampa Will said. "and I do believe you are standing on that ruin."

"Well, my apologies, then," Longcoat Man said, "but you'll have to see it from here."

"Why, might I ask?"

"My partner here-" - Longcoat Man pointed towards a staircase with his thumb - "is quite busy enough as it is. He doesn't need Muggles like you wandering around above his arena."

"Grampa," Robert said quietly, "That staircase wasn't there before, the obelisk was!"

"Why, that's fantastic, Robert!" Grampa Will said. "You've discovered a secret passage! Maybe you'll find the Druids' secret treasure hoard!" He turned back to Longcoat Man. "What, might I ask, is your partner doing?"

"He's trying to relocate a dragon-" Longcoat Man paused, as if to catch himself - "He's trying to relocate a dragonfly horde from underneath this waypoint cairn. The Welsh Green, no less. They're very dangerous." As if to punctuate, a gargantuan roar echoed from the cavern beneath the ruin.

"Now, listen here, young man," Grampa Will said, "Little Robert and I are not going to just stand around here and use our binoculars while you deny us entry into the Queen's unexplored territory! Now stand aside!"

Sighing, Longcoat Man stepped aside, only for Grampa Will, who pushed past him, to be pushed back into the forest next to Robert by some strange silver light.

"Now what's this whole con?" Grampa Will shouted, dusting himself off.

"I'm sorry, sir," Longcoat Man said, "but I'm not at liberty to tell-"

A great rumbling, like an earthquake, started up as dusk fell. The setting sun shone through a stone ring, coming to rest on the tip of the obelisk. The vague rumble continued through the ground as the obelisk slid back into position, making a scraping sound as it went, until the stairway to the inner chamber had resealed itself and the inhabitants inside fell silent. Longcoat Man, Grampa Will, and Robert all looked on in shock as a beam of light shot up from the obelisk, carrying on into infinity, accompanied by a drawn-out hiss.

"I'd better write that down," Longcoat Man said after a minute, "as one of the secrets of the Druids."

"Or get that chamber back open!" Grampa Will added.

"You might want to check around Stonehenge as well," Robert said, "It's probably got lots of Merlin's magic on it."

"Thank you, young man," Longcoat Man said to Robert. "I'll be sure to check around there to find my lost companion. _Merlin knows where that chamber Apparated him to..._ " Robert heard Longcoat Man add under his breath. As he was still puzzling over what "Apparated" meant, Longcoat Man has disappeared into the forest, audibly snapping a big branch with a loud _crack_.

"What do you think that was?" Robert asked Grampa Will as they walked home through the night.

"What we just saw, Robert," Grampa Will replied, "was magic. True magic."

* * *

Oio boios! DetectiveSky here!

This short story, while not directly related to Magic EXE, was written and submitted for the Quidditch League, Round 5, coming in at a whopping 1247 words! This round's prompt was to use one of the lesser-known families in the Potterverse, the McGonagalls. Choosing to divert from what most people would do, which would star Professor Minerva McGonagall, I chose to instead feature the good Professor's father, Robert, paternal grandparents, known only as Mr and Mrs McGonagall, and ancestor, William McGonagall. I messed with time a bit to bring Will and Robert together, and put them smack-dab in Newt Scamander's prime, but all in all this is a story worthier than one of Will McGonagall's poems!


	9. Rock the Boat

"What's that over there?!" Jack shouted, drawing our attention to the water over the starboard gunwale of the Pearl. Just as quickly, he did it again, this time racing over to the port side. I smiled as Terraverse began fading in Up Is Down. We ran from one end of the ship to the other. The Pearl started rocking ever so slightly, then gradually gaining a larger moment as we ran in resonance.

On one of our runs from port to starboard, I slipped down belowdecks and drew my Cutlass from my side and my wand from my left sleeve as Barbossa shouted to unstow all cargo and cannons. I parkoured around the decks, slicing stow ropes and dodging sliding rum crates until the ship was swaying wildly. Sliding and jumping back across the hold, I ran back to the stairs between decks, then had a crazy idea. It was Captain Jack Sparrow-worthy, even. I ran back up to the two co-captains, who were still running about from side to side. I grabbed a banister and held on as my end of the ship swung near the water, then caught Barbossa's attention with a simple "Captain!"

"Aye, Mr Dresden?"

"How well can you bail the Pearl's bilges?"

"What sort of relevance does yon subject have with flipping me ship upside-down, defying all common sense?"

"Well, water is the heaviest thing you can put on a ship! How well can you bail? Hand pump, machine pump, buckets?!"

"The Pearl be fitted with flaps in her stern, lad."

"Autobailers! Excellent! Let's open up the starboard gunports!"

"For what reason would I risk sinking me own ship?"

"Water is the heaviest thing you can put on a ship!"

"Aye, lad, ye said that afore, yet methinks that would send the Pearl to Davy Jones in a madman's attempt to-"

Barbossa paused as he suddenly realized what I was trying to do.

"Aye, lad! OPEN THE STARBOARD GUNPORTS!"

The ship rocked even further as some of Tai Huang's men and I started opening up all the gunports on the starboard side of the ship, letting water in that side of the ship as it rocked. Our plan seemed to be working, as with each lilt, the ship tipped further and further aside. Back on the deck, I felt the ship sway wildly and finally tip over, plunging us all into the warm water of Davy Jones' Locker. The sun sank below the horizon, and everything flashed green for a split second. Out of instinct, I expected the same burning pain I got whenever I was hit with the Killing Curse, and tensed my muscles appropriately.

No curse came, however, and instead of getting struck by lightning, I felt all the water above the ship's deck start flowing down to a point at the ship's waterline. The ship broke through the surface, and we emerged in the Caribbean as the sun of a new day rose. Once we had gotten down from various points on the ship, Barbossa ordered the gunports to be closed and the autobailer flaps to be opened. No sooner than he had finished the order did Jack draw a pistol on Barbossa.

"I'm the captain on me ship, mate."

"Keep it in mind that I be captain on the Pearl too, Jack, and infighting is punishable by death as per the crew's code of conduct," Barbossa said, drawing a pistol on Jack.

"I'll not have ye harm my cap'n," Gibbs said, pulling a pistol on Barbossa as the other did the same.

"The Pearl belongs to the Pirate Fleet of Singapore now," Tai Huang said, pulling a pistol on Gibbs as Gibbs and Jack pulled pistols on Tai Huang.

"Now, now, I do believe we've got a Brethren Court to assemble," I said, pulling my 9mm and my wand on Tai Huang and Gibbs. "And we need all nine Pirate Lords there, alive."

The four in the standoff pulled their triggers, then laughed as Gibbs said "Wet powder". They then looked to me as I put my weapons away, not even having cocked the hammer or raised the wand.

"Waterproof cartridges" was me reply.

God, I'm even starting to speak like a pirate.


End file.
